


Chocolate Santa

by beastlycheese



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 17:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8588062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beastlycheese/pseuds/beastlycheese
Summary: Inspired by a facebook picture of a chocolate santa, wrapped and unwrapped.Belle holds a Christmas event at the library. She swears it will also be the last.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fic. Be gentle with me.

“Never again!” Belle shouted as she stormed through the door of the Pink Victorian she shared with her true love. She threw herself on to the couch and into the outstretched arms of her husband.

  
*

  
Belle had attempted to get the residents of Storybrooke into the Christmas spirit. Her idea wasn’t revolutionary - just a small event for children at the library, a visit from Santa, a little gift and Christmas stories round the tree.

  
Only ten minutes after she had put up the poster the mayor marched in, nailing her heels into the lino and smiling venomously. She had popped by to divulge some handy information that Belle had obviously failed to comprehend.

  
The mayoral office must OK every community event. The mayoral office must see every poster or sign that is to appear on “her street”. The mayoral office this, the mayoral office that. However, the real sticking point had come over the identity of Santa himself. Belle had tried to interject at this point with an attempt at humour. She merely earned a glare. Regina, refuelled by Belle’s joke continued her officious tirade. Anyone coming into contact with children had to be vetted, various forms with overlong codes needed to be submitted, references needed to be taken, government offices consulted and police files scanned.

  
Trees. There was a standard of course. Rules.... Forms... Inspections... Belle had long glazed over and was wondering how many nods were necessary to look engaged. So she was more than pleased and very thankful for of all things - dog poo. The lecture had been finally brought to a close by an urgent phone call announcing that the mayor had a new crisis to avert.

  
Tea had revived Belle, her to do list was looking manageable - Santa and the tree had been axed. Mary from the school had promised to lend her the manger scene from last year’s nativity. It happily came with all its papers signed, in duplicate by the mayor and the health and safety commissioner. The school had no need for it as the “end of winter term show” was a non-denominational piece about vegetarian penguins.

  
The plan was starting to come together, Ruby had secured her 50 chocolate Santas from a source at the diner. She had found some safe and approved decorations. All Belle needed to do was sort out her reading list and was merrily collecting some likely candidates from the shelves when she came face to face with Mother Superior.  
Once vetted Belle’s choices were looking quite meagre, while the pile marked blasphemy towered impressively, almost toppling over into the “burn immediately” section. She had more than enough to entertain the children though and lots of books to re-shelve over nun head-height.

  
When the day came Belle felt very smug. There were no picketing nuns and Regina had already been diverted with an outrageously large pile of paperwork to salivate over. The chocolate Santas had been saved from melting by the radiator and she was looking festive in her pretty elf suit.  
She began proceedings with a jingle from her hat. A sea of the cutest little faces all turned towards her as she began, “Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the house…  
The hour had shot by, Leroy had even turned up in his elf suit, with a letter of authorisation and a grumpy acknowledgement that he would never be allowed to play the big man himself. He happily handed out the gifts to those eager little hands.

  
Belle had done it! Such a little event but it had felt like a saga to her, she was just imagining sitting next to the fire in her husband’s arms with a mince pie and a hot toddy when she saw a nun staring at the children, her face was as red as beetroot and was contorting in horror like she was transforming into some beast. Belle turned round to find that the children had started unwrapping their Christmas treats and were getting their teeth stuck into the chocolate…well. Belle’s eyebrows had risen involuntarily high the little bell on the tip of her hat jingled in horror. The Santas did not look like Santas on the inside, no they looked like, well, dildos, willies, dicks, everywhere she looked innocent children and choco-cocks.

  
Taking a deep breath and grabbing a beaker of juice she approached the purple nun-beast. “Everything Ok sister?” Belle innocently enquired.

  
“It is obscene, the children and those…things” the nun spluttered out.

  
“Ah, yes the children are really loving their chocolate Santas aren’t they?” Belle cooly replied.

  
“I shall report you to Mother, to the mayor, to the police, to….” The nun blathered on.

  
“Oh, and exactly what are you going to report sister?” asked Belle. As Belle examined her face she realised it didn’t take the nun that long to realise that she was not going to win this one. How was she going to explain what she had seen without compromising her own pious reputation? The evidence had already been consumed she couldn’t show anyone, she would have to describe the offending articles herself.

  
Belle smiled sweetly and waved her out of the door and back to whatever stone she laid upon. It was definitely time for pies and hugs.

  
*

  
“So sweetheart” purred Rumplestiltskin, as he felt his wives shoulders slowly relax with the help of the hot toddy and his calming hands. “You know you were saying it was a shame that the nativity had been replaced, and you thought that all religions should be celebrated not hidden so as not to offend.”

  
“Yeeees” replied Belle suspiciously.

  
“Well the mayor dropped you off a bundle of forms and a calendar detailing all the major religious and non-religious festivals from this realm and the Enchanted Forest, she thought you would like to prepare early for your next event.”

  
Belle was not a violent person but she started to understand the cathartic release after she had battered her husband with the calendar a few times, shredded it and flung it into the fire.

  
After a few more medicinal toddies the playful couple decided to take things upstairs. Belle was slightly delayed by her phone. “That was Ruby” she explained, “she wanted to know if we have any Santas left for the girls’ Christmas party.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find the offending santa on my tumblr pages. @beastlycheese or with just my nonsense @cheeseybitsbybeastly You can also enter the Rumbelle fanfic quiz there (no entry fee no prize) and vote in my bonk a bobby survey.


End file.
